just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
