She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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