R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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