Sry I called you an 8
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
do nipples grow back?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
