false alarm. still invincible.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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