you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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