the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
