elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my being single is dangerous.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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