I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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