I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
