Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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