you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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