Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
