you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
