do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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