i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
