I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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