Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
