Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize