I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
