He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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