wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Mom said you looked used
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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