New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
