How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
