So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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