You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
