You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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