You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
