Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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