I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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