We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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