McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
