So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
