we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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