why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
