I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
