Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
