Ambien. No doubt about it.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
