Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
