dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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