please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
