sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
