Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
