Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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