Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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