She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
