eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
