What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
