ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
