Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
